If a number and a caption is not enough for you to understand what my ratings actually mean, here’s some more text for you:
The absolute fucking worst shit ever. It’s so bad that there can’t possibly be anything worse than it. In fact, it’s so bad that there’s only one item with this rating for a given category.
Awful garbage that’s impossible to consume. Taking a look at it in the first place was a mistake. However, it’s still not my least favorite.
Consuming this item causes mental and physical pain. Doing it more than once would be an insult to both myself and whoever created it.
Consuming this item is extremely difficult but still possible. May contain some redeeming qualities but is overall bad, really bad.
Consumable, but you wish you didn’t have to do it. Bad overall, but still has something that makes it possible to consume.
Average in a bad way. It’s not that bad but also not that good at the same time. Takes the uncanny spot between the good and the bad.
The lowest passing grade. From now on, the items can be classified as “positive.” This one is also positive but sucks for one reason or another.
Pretty solid choice for consumption. Far away from being perfect but still perfectly fine. In other words, it doesn’t suck at all.
Still not quite there but manages to impress me with something. Pretty good choice for repeated consumption if it was to ever occur.
Awesome. Impresses me with several things at once. Doesn’t have any major flaws. Could be considered a masterpiece if the things went better.
So good that it makes me say “Holy. Fucking. Shit.” Incredible on all possible levels. Either completely flawless or impresses so much with so much that it’s impossible to give a lower rating.
The absolute fucking best shit ever. It’s so good that there can’t possibly be anything better than it. In fact, it’s so good that there’s only one item with this rating for a given category.