2021-03-05: Raya and the Last Dragon
Overall, it’s a pretty good princess movie. The dragons look cute and the women are strong, which I like. The world it’s set in is nothing out of ordinary but still manages to be engaging. I think it’d look cool in a video game or a TV show. The whole thing ends on an emotional moment, but it could me more dramatic to fit my tastes.
2021-03-06: Tom & Jerry (2021)
I wasn’t as bad as I expected but still not good enough. The film tries to balance between the original story and the Tom and Jerry clusterfuck we all know and love since childhood but fails miserably - there’s just not enough Tom and Jerry. The story itself may not be the best and may be cringy and unfunny in some parts, but it could be much worse. Another thing to mention here is the visuals. Even though cartoony animals in a realistic world don’t look the best, at least it’s not as bad as it could’ve been if they went for a completely realistic approach.
2021-03-23: Nobody (2021)
It’s awesome. I came with high expectations and was more than satisfied. The idea of a movie where the good guy gets plain revenge on the bad guy doesn’t sound too good on paper, but oh boy, it was executed perfectly. The whole story is pretty interesting to watch unfold, which is additionally fuelled by nice acting. The main part of the movie, the scene where the main character slaughters dozens of bad guys, was also executed pretty well. The violence level is just about what I like, i.e. really fucking high. It was really satisfying to watch so many people die.
One interesting thing about the movie is that it features Russian characters actually speaking Russian, meaning not dubbed. It does sound a bit out of place but is still satisfying to hear.
This cinema visit wasn’t quite ordinary. First, there were barely any people (like, 6 of them without me), which is sort of strange because I thought this movie was pretty big. Second, a family was watching the movie there with their 5-year-old daughter. What the fuck? Don’t they think this movie is maybe a little too violent for her? Also this baby asshole made stupid comments on the movie that made absolutely no fucking sense. I mean what can you even expect from a child? In any case, she shut the fuck up at some point, so thank God.
2021-04-27: Wrath of Man
The best I can describe this film is “uninspiring.” I’d probably say that the ending is pretty good, relatively speaking, but the movie overall is meh. The plot has some interesting ideas, but it feels like the movie isn’t even trying to be epic. There’s barely any swearing, and even though the movie succeeds at killing as many side-characters as possible, the level of violence is just too low. And in addition to all of that, it’s pretty boring. Overall, I’m disappointed because the movie looks like it wants to be good but isn’t trying hard enough.
Not gay enough.
Okay, I’m just kidding. The movie is actually not that bad. The basic idea of the whole story is that humans are easily manipulative, and I kinda like it. The implementation of this idea is good enough, I guess. The movie is thrilling in some moments, but it isn’t too bizarre. The same goes to pretty much the whole thing - the acting, the scenes, the aesthetics all get a passing grade from me, no more. Still, I wouldn’t say I’m disappointed because it could do more because I didn’t expect much. What I however have a little complaint about is the ending. It’s not like it doesn’t fit or is unsatisfying, it’s just too safe and sterile. What I really wanted this film to show me is people murdering each other and things exploding, but instead I got a regular mediocre happy ending. I guess it follows the same rule as the rest of the movie. But in any case, I still enjoyed this movie overall somehow.
2021-05-21: Groundhog Day
On the first glace, it’s regular cheesy romantic comedy held together by simple sci-fi’ish concept but it still manages to somehow deliver. One of the things I like about it is how American it feels. There aren’t any particular elements like flags hanging everywhere, but the vibe is still there and it feels real nice. Another thing is that the progression of events goes exactly like you’d expect but it doesn’t become boring. It’s a great pleasure to watch the main character go from insanity to making the best out of his unlimited time, which I guess anyone in his place would do. And as a cherry at top of this cake, the film features great acting and nice cinematography. Overall, it’s a great watch.
2021-06-14: A Quiet Place
While I fully support the interesting idea of a film where no one talks, I can’t say it’s perfect. The major problem with the movie is that it doesn’t contribute enough exciting story to pass as a great standalone film. In other words, it feels like it just needs to have a sequel, and it seems like does. And don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely not because of the ending, which is, by the way, amazing. Another thing I have troubles with is the backstory. Specifically, the weakness of the monsters, which is revealed at the end of the movie, is just ridiculous. I mean it’s not bad writing-wise, meaning it’s a great opportunity for much-needed sequels, but come on, there’s absolutely no fucking way that people wouldn’t have been able to find such a weakness have these monsters arrived on our planet. While people are indeed stupid, they’re not this stupid.
2021-07-06: Gayn***ers From Outer Space
Well, it’s an interesting shitty movie. On one hand, it’s extremely low quality. For example, the quality of the picture is even lower than in the Green Elephant - the resolution is extremely low and, apart from the ending, the movie is shot in black and white. The locations and props feel cheap and create an atmosphere on someone shooting with a non-existent budget. However, on the other hand, the movie is quite far from being unwatchable, and I’d probably say it’s even funny. The absurdity of the dialogue and the actions of the characters only play in the movie’s favor and improve the watching experience. Thus, despite the overall crappiness of the film, I can still recommend you to watch it.
2021-10-03: Venom: Let There Be Carnage
I don’t quite remember the original, but I don’t think this is a bad sequel. The main thing I like about the first movie, the humor, does still work pretty good. I’d say the acting of the main character is also not bad. However, the movie is far away from being perfect. The main thing I’m unhappy about is that there’s not enough action and dramatic tension. It’s not like I expected it in the first place, but I’m still kinda disappointed. The CGI in this movie is not quite cutting edge, but perhaps it just looks this way to me and isn’t actually that bad. And of course, the story. It isn’t that bad but still feels like it was made out of thin air. I really hope there isn’t going to be the third movie in the series because if there will be, it will actually suck. But still, despite all of that, I enjoyed this film. I guess I just like stupid movies about strong guys fighting. If you’re like me, I guess you’ll enjoy it too.
2021-10-19: The Truman Show
My friend told me I might enjoy watching this film if I didn’t know anything about it and, if I’m not misremembering, that I’d like how it ends. I watched it, and I have no idea what’s so special about the ending. It’s absolutely predictable and unsurprising. I mean, for crying out loud, they didn’t even use it as an opportunity to insert an F-bomb. If they did, that’d automatically redeem the whole movie. So I don’t know, maybe my friend meant a different film called “The Truman Show.”
The movie itself, meanwhile, is just as disappointing. I guess it’s shot well and looks like a good effort, but there’s just one little thing wrong about it. The movie just fucking spoils itself. Yes, I’m not kidding. As early as 20 minutes into the film, you already know what’s gonna happen in the end. And it doesn’t even stop at few spoilers. The movie gradually spoils itself more and more the further you watch it. By the third quarter of the film, you’re already know everything about the plot even though you haven’t finished it. And all of this could be fixed just by cutting spoiler parts out of the whole thing. It wouldn’t be quite the same vibe, but I’d rather watch a thriller that’s a bit more interesting. So yeah, overall I’m not a big fan of this movie, but I can’t say I absolutely didn’t enjoy it.
Not a bad film, I should say. The story is compelling and works pretty well. I really dig the theme of giant robots ruling the universe. I’d even say it’s inspiring. Everything is shot pretty well, and even though the CGI kinda sucks, the movie doesn’t look bad. Additionally, it made me feel a couple of emotions. Not too strong but still emotions. For example, when my favorite character died, I actually felt something a bit. However, one thing is wrong with this film, and it spoils the whole experience. It’s lackluster. It’s not like it’s completely not epic or doesn’t have action, but it really wants you wish for more. Maybe Gurren Lagann spoiled me and made me unable to accept anything less epic, or maybe this movie just sucks in this regard. But hey, at least the story wants you to see more, and considering how the film ends (wowie, I actually saw the post-credit scene this time), oh boy, we’re gonna get some. Hopefully, they won’t make the same mistake twice.
2021-12-03: Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
Before watching this movie, I had seen a few reviews of it, and it seemed like a pretty badass and cool film. Unfortunately, it disappointed me. While there are scenes with extreme violence, and they’re well-made with awesome practical effects, the whole thing feels like a Neil Breen movie. And by that I mean that it’s really fucking boring with good scenes spaced out by filler crap that tells us the plot, which in this case is barely existent. Though, it’s at least bearable to watch, and the good scenes redeem the whole thing. In conclusion, this film is not that great, but I still recommend you to watch it.
Really tho, I have no idea what to say about this movie. It was okay, I guess, but nothing impressed me. There were too many musical scenes, and they didn’t even have balls to make a sad ending. In other words, it’s a good film, but it’s so good that it’s boring.
What? Did you expect me to now give it an actual unironic rating? Well, guess what, 6/10 is exactly what this movie deserves. No actual rating this time.
2021-12-31: The Last Warrior: A Messenger of Darkness
Wow, Disney made a bad movie? What a surprise. I wonder if it has something to do with a certain cinema foundation working on it. In any case, the film sucks. It’s so bland and boring that it was neither inspiring nor cringeworthy. In fact, I’d rather watch a Neil Breen movie because it’s at least unusual. The film does try to be funny but unfortunately fails miserably. I laughed exactly once despite the whole movie being one big joke.
The worst thing with this movie by far is the main villain. She’s just so unconvincing. Volk from Nu Pogodi is a scarier villain compared to her. It feels almost like they hired a random grandma to play the antagonist and told her to just read the lines. Closer to the end of the movie, they attempted to add some dramatic tension by murdering everyone but the main character, but guess what, it didn’t fucking work. It was incredibly obvious that they’re gonna resurrect everyone right after. They also almost pulled off a bittersweet ending but chickened out and made a bittershit ending instead. Pathetic.
And you know what’s even worse about this film? It’s the third movie in the trilogy. If the final film is so bad, I can’t even imagine how awful the rest are.