05 - May


2020-05-01

i masturbated on the staircase and cummed all over the place

why the fuck again

this is horrifying

also there was something about my relatives going by car and the english language but i barely remembered that for an obvious reason

2020-05-02

i was an old person taking an interview from a small girl that later turned out to be a robot

not sure about the topic but there was something about kde the whole happened indoors and the girl had some plastic shit in her mouth because she was ashamed of something

i was writing her responses in the gitlab webide i think

also she was a member of “Ъ” whatever that means

[fell asleep and woke up again]

2 guys playing a game about planes and parkour online

the parkour and planes were separate btw

also i think i was helping my dad with windows 10 at the same time and it looked kinda weird

2020-05-03

me skipping classes and doing random shit

i remember walking on the roof and through random corridors and also browsing the web

in the end i started watching a rip-off of despicable me in italian

also i think just before waking up i saw a picture of obama with some white text on black background

2020-05-04

  1. mindless surrreal shit
  2. more mindless surreal shit
  3. me looking for a computer

according to the dream it happened in england but the building looked exactly like the place i studied in before

i had a flash stick or something with myself and had a hard time finding a computer class

i’m not sure if i found it in the end

when i was leaving it was already night and the part of the building where there was an exit before had been transformed into a clothing shop so i had to find another one

some random girl that for some reason spoke russian told me that there was a secret entrance right to the right of me and i just went out

then it switched to the 3rd person view and i was going through grass while the british version of the fbi was raiding the building because the welsh had done something

also there were random kids that noticed me because i was using a flashlight and i guess i fucked up because they rushed right to that secret door

[fell asleep and woke up again]

  1. me watching a video about the “international museum of shrek” which was in progress of being made

to visit it you needed a vr headset and to be where it was physically located (khrushyovka)

so basically it’s ar

the museum was built by a small team and i guess in this episode they were having fun

i scrolled to the end of the video first

there was some ghost shit and people dying and after that the guy was having sex with 2 girls and couldn’t choose one

then he said “wait i have an idea”

he opened a portal from which a giant statue of shrek fell in and he cut the dick off the statue with a sword

i was like “what the fuck” and scrolled to the beginning of the video

there was a couple of guys and they installed a demo game

i remember explosions and probably the game over screen

i think there were like 5 guys including the one who shot the video and one of them was [my groupmate]

2020-05-05

video about a rip-off of bee movie

it had horrible 90s models and animation and someone used them to promote their clinic or something

[fell asleep and woke up again]

me studying in some village

i had to ride on buses to get to different lessons

also i’ve seen avgn for some reason

he lived in a barely alive 100 yo house

also i suddenly took a ride to some large city in the middle of the dream and had troubles with moving my things

weird shit

i think i went to some pool there and almost appeared naked

i don’t like the last fact because it’s like the 2 second time in row

also to get to that place the bus was going fast as fuck and i was sitting in the opposite direction so i was kinda scared

2020-05-06

forgot but did remember after just waking up

there was something about dreaming and probably paintings

i think there was also some androgynous (could barely spell) person

like a heavy metal player or shit

2020-05-07

something really weird related to computers

there was a scene where i returned back home after getting out to check something and one where i helped my dad with his os

also for some reason one where i checked the stock prices and one where i pissed into a toilet with no hole

it’s hard to explain but basically it’s just a room where everyone shits on the floor

it was on some (construction?) site and it was really hard not to step in shit

also the (wooden) door didn’t close and didn’t have the upper half + an old guy was in a line after me

btw the floor wasn’t perfectly flat and it made it even worse

[fell asleep and woke up again]

me walking down the street and remembering weird shit

when i came home it turned out someone made me instant noodles 3 days ago and freezed them

and also that for no reason my grandma gifted me some really weird underwear

i think while i was walking there was also something about a non-existent anime

the only thing i remember is random characters from the

fuck i forgot the name

incredibles

or is it i’m not sure some disney shit

and also both main characters from gunbuster and kill la kill

why the fuck idk

someone tried to kill someone else with fire but in the end it didn’t happen

[The person I’m writing to mentions the “weird underwear” and sends a picture of a guy with his underwear perfectly stretched around his boner.]

no it was like

uhhhhhh how do i even say

i mean you put them on in two passes

and they weirdly wrap around you

(your dick area)

but there remains a horizontal hole near the top when they’re on

and when they’re not on they look like a mostly flat piece of cloth shit with 3 holes in it

[They ask me to draw it.]

i can’t because it’s too fucked up

i’m not even sure how i exactly put them on

[They don’t understand how it works.]

me neither

2020-05-08

some classes idk

i was writing something in html (on paper?) while the teacher was screaming at someone

for some reason i was involuntarily slowly standing up the whole time but no one noticed

in the end i installed a scottish theme for my phone and for some reason everyone including the teacher really really hated it

i think before i fell asleep the second time there was a dream with something about transgender people and my parents

i think the teacher looked something between the russian one and the chemistry one

and the classroom was a generic soviet shit with green walls

2020-05-09

playing a hyper realistic minecraft-like game

then something related to my cat and my sister happened

and then i was in some building near the pool where they managed to hide multiple floors on 1 floor using complicated tricks

2020-05-10

an alien arrived on earth and discovered that if you punch humans too hard they die

and the humans developed the anti-punch fabric and glass

while that was happening i was in my grandma’s old house

also there was something about firefox and how large windows in restaurants are bad because they stimulate anxiety and are easier for terrorists to break

(what)

wait i remembered the dream before that

there was a space opera a horrorish shit and a minecraft shit

in the last one in the end steve came out of a hole in the ground filled with blood and corpses of the killed mobs and arrived at someone’s house

the owner of the house pushed steve back into the hole and he fell down and died

2020-05-11

random shit that i barely remember

i was sharing an apartment with some people i think

also there were scenes with some weird construction in the mountain formed out of lava by humans

and something about humans that are somehow different (superpowers or shit)

also someone sent me a screenshot of yandex translate

back2sleep

[fell asleep and woke up again]

vacation with my family

it was pretty good but one person almost fucked it up

we were preparing to leave but a “retro” train and i was almost naked for some reason

accordning to the dream it was september but still sunny

the train station had a garden around with fresh tree saplings and for some reason i got lost in the end

also i was thinking like “there’s no internet here so i better record my dream in the notes or something”

btw i think we went to the station from some large building

and i was dressed up

but both my clothes and the building disappeared

2020-05-12

i was on an airplane with a friend ([the person I’m writing to]?) markiplier and [a groupmate]

the flight control robot rioted and took control over the plane

it made a giant hole in the airplane and disappeared

somehow some people including myself didn’t get sucked out

just before the whole thing landed 3 of us decided to separate on a small (like 2.5 meter long) metallic piece and we landed softly in some empty arena

expect [the third person] which landed on me

when we landed it was suddenly evening and winter

a lady asked us something when we got got out of arena but i just said “sorry we’ve just survived a plane crash”

also there were a couple of random scenes

one with just streets one with space one with a teacher writing something about me on paper and one with organs located in water spewing out 50% of blood

i shleep

[fell asleep and woke up again]

  1. lying on the bed and watching myself slowly die in 3rd person

i think it was in a hospital and i could control my organs

and objects in the room prolly

  1. i was barack obama trying to escape some school

it didn’t look soviet but was pretty large

first i went through the wall to escape his/my wife

then i tried the same trick on a closed exit door but it was actually open

2020-05-14

  1. weird pseudo-scientific shit
  2. something about driving on a dyi motored skatebords

not sure if it was a movie because i felt like was in control or something

  1. something related to space travel and teleportarion idk
  2. more or less regular school stuff but without making sense

my old it teacher which i liked was there and he mentioned addresses of the commune bath and something else of the school

and also my previous dreams which is kinda weird

todo: sleep more

i think there was also a meme with harrison ford

not sure in which dream

[fell asleep and woke up again]

humiliating elementary school ww2 role play that happened on a severely mutated version of the frontyard of the apartment block of my grandma’s old house

2020-05-15

  1. some weird bullshit don’t remember
  2. math lesson but on top of a hill and i’m doing some weird shit with the phone lines or something

at some point the building disappeared

  1. the same place but it’s somehow related to heavy metal

2020-05-16

weird shit

before i fell asleep there were 3 but i forgot the first one

the second one was about vsauce

the third one was about god knows what but my relative screamed at me

probably there were other ones but i don’t remember

the one i had after falling asleep again was kinda weird too

i was doing some shit at a school but when it was time to leave i kept forgetting things

i think someone owed me $3.5 billion and i had to go back 3 times

on the last one like $50 million was left to get but i had to take a piss so i went into some train

i walked through entire thing and it was for some reason really tight there

i walked past the queen elizabeth 2 and got really angry for some reason

i took out my lightsaber to cut everything in half there but it turned into a regular sword colored green

i was like what the fuck is going on and woke up

the lightsaber was weird

because it was thiccn’t

like a miniature version

but with the full sized blade

[The person I’m writing to mentions the dream where a relative screamed at me.]

i think it was

godfather (movie)

godfather - n. A man who sponsors a person at baptism.

what

n. The leader of an organized crime family.

perhaps

2020-05-17

  1. “the last star wars movie” according to the dream

the main hero was walking through a minecraft nether-like dimension and bumped into giant palpatine sitting on his trone

his said something and every person on earth started digging below themself with their bare hands

not sure who won but there also was obi wan and some angel thing

  1. me flying from japan? back to where i came from

the plane on the insides looked like a bus and flew much closer to the ground than regular planes

it was full of old people except the kid behind me who was eating noodles off his chest

someone asked me “what are we doing” and i couldn’t understand what he meant so in the end i just answered “suffering”

the landing process was extremely weird

the plane had to strap itself onto a moving train in order to slow down and then circle around multiple times which i guess is unsafe as fuck

no seats had seatbelts so it makes it even worse

the airport terminals or whatever were owned by social media companies and the one we had to use was “instagram” so i guess it’s facebook

i woke up before even entering it

2020-05-18

i remember the last one

it was a jjba like stand battle between dr doofenshmirtz and someone with amdphone (phone by amd)

the phone itself had a stand and it was identical to doofenshmirtz’s

at first dr was losing but then he remembered that they didn’t copy his stand perfectly

so he grabbed a bunch of bullets and pushed down the other stand’s ass

he punched his ass and he exploded

i woke up right after

2020-05-20

the first three were pretty surreal and i don’t remember them

the next one was about andrei nifedov presenting his coronovavirus conspiracy theory on tv

i don’t remember anything except that it involved aliens

in the last one some fucked up garbarge started to happen to the appartment

first my phone which i apparently stole/borrowed from someone died because of too many notifications

then the doors on the balcony broke

then the balcony was not a little bit a balcony and floating in water and the surroundings of the apartment were destroyed or something

btw typing all of this was really painful

2020-05-21

  1. doing some shit with a person who obtained a device that allows you to change the reality itself whatever that means

i remember that it had some virtual room and also required a pin code

  1. testing space rockets with random people

i think it was like in the future and there were 4 rockets

all of them had pretty game-like mechanics

also just remembered about watching a crt tv before that

prolly not even in this dream

  1. trying out “multi-layered” face masks in a classroom

i tried black putin black yoda and i think white obama

black putin was the funniest one for some reason

also idk why the fuck the teacher even had them

[in the second dream] i think one rocket had a humanoid robot assistant

and one had a weird method of landing

probably crashing in the ocean or some fucked up shit like that

also there was a giant platform on which we were standing and the sky was orange

like super mario bros 3 reddish orange

[The person I’m writing to mentions “black Putin”.]

mask

several masks that you put on top of each other

2020-05-23

  1. flying at the “front seat” of the plane

obviously it didn’t look like one because it was small and had no pilots

also there was a back seat which was just a room

not sure about seatbelts

  1. some weird mix between reality and minecraft

it looked like irl but i used commands and there were chests

i was with some guy and there were 2 locations

random street where something related to weird email addresses happened

and a cliff on which we had a restaurant or something idk but it was multiple stories high and sat in the cliff itself

also in the end i was thinking about how the amount of fur on a cat makes it more friendly

also there was one random scene with broken beds being repaired and one with 3 random anime girls in suits but idk how where and when

2020-05-24

(yes [I did wake up at 6 pm])

  1. fred from scooby doo killing people with bare hands

i think it was in a school and he murdered drug dealers

on the inside it looked pretty red and fred had to break through or move walls to get to some people

  1. ???????

some random people swimming near some building

and they didn’t want to leave because there was a fish

also something about a dog giving birth to the future son of harrison ford (what) and someone being defeated by adjusting the resonation frequency of the liquid

there were a bunch of intermediate dreams but they were even more drugged up

wait i remembered one more

  1. friend invited me into a [messenger] conference

it was called something like “NOTHERNERS”

idk what they wrote about but there was a bot that sent some gaming shit all the time

help

remembered another dream

  1. using an oven with weird stoves

lemme draw

bruh

[A picture of a oven where 3 stoves are the same size, and the lower right one is divided into 4 smaller ones and is surrounded by some circular shit.]

2020-05-25

i opened the “angry video game nerd” wikipedia article

i then i opened the “seasons” section

the last season (20?) was named The New Nerd and Borderline Eurorama 2.0

to the right of the name there was a picture that didn’t load

it had a caption like Conǧratulations

and the picture to the right of it was a screenshot of eurorama i assume

it had bright colors or shit

this game doesn’t exist

just like i expected

[Result of an image search with a faucet on the left and a red faced guy on the right.]

[The first paragraph of the Wikipedia article.]

foul-mouthed video game fanatic

the article is much longer than in the dream

2020-05-26

our [useless subject] teacher makes us buy a new copybook for each task

in the dream i was on the 37th

also there was a dream before that and it also involved him

don’t remember anything other than that

2020-05-27

some space opera’s deleted scenes

prolly gunbuster but like that one time when i saw star wars the mood was really different

2020-05-29

me doing something online

i think there was a youtube-like service and i watched something about a company that clones people

i’m not sure if they enslaved them but they didn’t count them as people because they didn’t have genitals and had some shit in their brain locked

also there was a gsettings-like config system (called dcl something) but its files looked something like

.Desktop Entry
Name PeePeePooPoo
Type Application
Exec pee --poo

i shleep

2020-05-30

  1. some video game about planes

war planes not passenger ones

i think it involved elements of time travel

  1. traveling with my family somewhere

we did it by car that didn’t have a roof i suppose and had a bicycle attached to the right on which i was sitting

some weird shit was happening like my sister falling off but somehow survivng and the car flipping after going downhill near some garage

  1. reading hacker news?

the website had an unreasonably colorful design (with literally your color of the day or something) and there were some meta posts about caching i think

2020-05-31

according to itself it happened in france/canada but from one angle it looked like the street i live on

i fell asleep in a cafe or something and i woke up is someone’s house

so they reuse the same room i guess

the room either had transparent or one-way glass walls

it was the beginning of the morning and the atmosphere was kinda depressive

for some reason i wasn’t kicked out and talked to the girl that lived there

she was really weird (autistic?) and her parents were ethnically diverse (her father was middle eastern not sure about her mom)

so i was talking about random topics and she was getting unhappy and stopped talking on some of them for little reason

at some moment the whole thing stopped and i was transported to the room (she made?) for a us president or something

she had a portait of jfk of the wall btw

in the room there was a series of very unsafe transparent plastic slides with a giant hole at the end

i managed to stop myself and go to a different dream before i fell

btw i’m not actually sure if it was before that because it feels it could be in the middle or before

then in the next dream i’m going from the airport i guess and i enter this time their exact house

as i said from a different angle it looks like it’s actually from france/canada but maybe a poor district

this time it was late morning and i was still talking about random topics without getting kicked but she was kinda happier this time because the topics were different

idk what the fuck was that i sleep

[fell asleep and woke up again]

  1. i got into a car which turned out to be self-driving and it made me panic for some time
  2. me getting a “detention” in “prison”

basically i could just walk freely out of cells and the staff told me “to find a free cell and just sit here for half an hour”

so MY MOM (yes) was there too and she just put herself into a restroom stall

which is either a gender-neutral or a male restroom because there were some guys that insulted me

so i decided to go a stall too

now picture a stall with a giant hole in the wall and a shower hose directly above the shitter (with no bathtub or even a drain)

and i decide to undress and take a shower there

i woke up confused immediately