08 - August


A lot of fucked up things happened in these 2 days, so I guess I’m gonna have just one entry for the sake of simplicity. Most of the Saturday was spent by sorting out the mess in our house. Or well, more like my mom spent the day doing it while I was slightly helping sometimes. Thanks to our efforts, we eliminated most of the shoe boxes in our house and our entire collection of glass jars on our balcony. Why would we go through all of that effort, you might ask? The reason pretty simple - cockroaches. We hired some guys to use chemical weapons to kill all of that motherfuckers in our house, and in order to let them access every corner of the house, there shouldn’t have been a mess. We also asked my relative to sort out the rest we couldn’t do, which he, hopefully, did. After that, we were supposed to wait until 6 PM to head out, but my parents decided not to and we headed out immediately at 4 PM. I forgot to mention it, but this time we went not to our airport but the one located in a bigger city nearby. That city also just happens to have some of our relatives, and my grandma also happened to want to visit them, so we had to take her with us. We arrived at our relatives' at about 7 PM and had to wait there until 10 PM. After that, we went to a parking lot, where we parked our car for the rest of our journey. We were also transferred to the airport by a parking lot employee. As I mentioned, I had a slightly high body temperature, but luckily, it wasn’t high enough to be detected, so there was no problem with that even though I was anxious about it. It was about midnight when we arrived at the airport, and the registration to our flight was going to start at 1:20 AM, so we had nothing to do but wait. However, we did get some advantage over other people by arriving so early as we were one of first ones to register. It wasn’t that simple though, and the airport employee who was registering us wasn’t sure whether we should be even allowed to fly with a vaccination but without a negative COVID test, which scared the shit out of me. Luckily, she contacted someone, and it turned out okay. After the registration, we went through the customs. Due to me taking one of the pills, we had to rewrite our declaration, but luckily, it didn’t take much time. What was surprising, however, was that the red channel wasn’t even open, and I had to go through the green channel but explain myself to a customs officer. Then we went through the passport control, and all we had to do was wait once again. It was pretty boring, but I still handled it somehow. In fact, our flight was postponed by 20 minutes 2 times in a row, and barely cost me any nerves. Then we entered the plane, where we had another body temperature check, which I also passed. The flight itself was alright, and I even got a few hours of sleep on it. After arriving, we had to go through a registration, which was excruciatingly long and mind-bogglingly boring. It was also so fucking so fucking hot, so my sister nearly passed out after 2 hours of this torture. After that we were supposed to have another customs control but somehow didn’t, so I didn’t have to declare anything this time. Well, who cares. When we got out of the airport, it turned out that we’ve been registering for so long that the bus that was supposed to take us to our hotel has been long gone. We had to contact a random employee of our travel agency and explain ourselves, and luckily, after half an hour, they put us in a random bus with other people and instructed the driver to take us to our hotel. We had to wait for about an hour for those people to get off their flight, but at least we did get to our hotel in the end. The hotel itself turned out with a bit of a surprise - the electricity in our room was barely functioning and Wi-Fi wasn’t working. We had to ask for another room in order to solve the electricity problem, and the Wi-Fi just fixed itself somehow. Other than that, the hotel was exactly what we expected from the cheapest option available that’s still livable in. In fact, it was not even exactly a hotel per se but something like an apartment complex as it was just one building you live in and nothing else. This choice was made deliberately so we don’t rely on the hotel itself and enjoy the city itself. After checking in, we went to the grocery store (actually, we also did it several times afterwards), where we spent an unnecessarily big amount of money on food. Then we went to the beach, which this time, wasn’t a property of the hotel and was public instead. I quite enjoyed it except the part when I decided to jump of a rock and cut my fingers and knees in the process. After the sea, we went to the pool located on the top of the hotel. The pool itself is not remarkable, but the view it offers of the city is. My sister and I are planning to go there at the midnight and see the panorama of the city at night. So yeah, that’s about it. I guess I should sleep now.


I overestimated my ability to wake up on time. The alarm didn’t do shit, and my sister failed to scream loud enough to wake me up, so we ended up not going to the pool at night. Today we decided not to wait until too late and go there just when it gets dark, but it seems like the pool is closed when it’s late, so we probably won’t. Or you know, we can ignore the rules instead and go there in any case. Regardless, the rest of the day was pretty saturated with events but maybe not as much as yesterday. Though, just like yesterday, it feels like it passed by pretty fast, which is not my usual experience as usually it feels like the first days of being in a new place feel slow, but then it gets fast. But at least I can’t say I’m unhappy, so I guess it’s alright. So as I mentioned, I was bad at waking up early, so I ended up sleeping until 11 AM while my parents left the room at about 7 or 8 AM and went to the street market. They reportedly spent a shitton of money and bought a lot of stuff like a shirt for my dad and much needed underwear for me. They also went swimming without me, which sort of makes me regret not going with them. Also it was too hot for my dad, so I guess he won’t be as keen on going places with my mom anymore. After they got back home, I finally woke up, so now she was going outside with me instead (actually, my dad also initially went with us but he soon left us and nearly got lost). First, we went to a lakantasi (canteen) and bought me a doner (shawarma). This time it was wrapped in bread and not lavash but it was still pretty tasty. Though some sauce will be nice, it seems like Turkish people are really good at making this kind of food. Then we went to a bakery and got some buns and ekmek (bread), which we brought in our room before continuing our journey. Then we were supposed to go to another street market and buy some fruits/vegetables because that one apparently didn’t have any. Lost story short - after walking several kilometers, it turned out to be all in vein because apparently the stuff there was more expensive than in a supermarket. So instead, we backtracked a bit and bought what we needed in a random supermarket that had a fruit/vegatable section outside. After that, we went back and got lost several times in the process. When we were back, it was about 3 PM, and a guide from our travel agency was supposed to arrive at 4 PM, so we went swimming in the pool. Unfortunately, the guide didn’t even arrive, so we ended up meeting our parents and getting back to our room. After a bit of time, we went swimming in the sea, which was as pleasant as yesterday, and I also jumped off a random rock cutting myself in the process again. We spent about an hour or 2 swimming and then went to another lakantasi (restaurant) to have a dinner with the whole family. As usual, we spent a lot of money there, but my mom says it’s okay because apparently it’d be more expensive in our city’s proper restaurants. Well, it’s alright then, I guess? After eating, we walked another couple of kilometers to a clothing shop to buy my sister some pants. We ended up buying only one specimen because my sister is too picky. We also tried to find me some jeans but couldn’t find a size fitting me. When we got back, it already got too dark. So now, I guess, I’m gonna go see the panorama of the city at night, and my sister suggests me to wait until our parents falls asleep and go swim there in secret, but I’m not sure about this idea.


In case you’re wondering, yes, I have failed to go to the pool at night once again. Most likely, I won’t do it today either as my sister is suddenly reluctant to go there. The day itself was still full of adventures, and let’s hope it stays like this. Just after I woke up, which I had to do early today, I discovered that some nasty shit happened to our plumbing and shit literally started spilling on the ground. I had to immediately contact the receptionist and ask them for a plumber. It wasn’t certain if they actually listened to me, but spoiler alert - the plumber have come in the end. It took me quite some time to stop worrying about it, but my mom assured me that everything’s okay because she additionally called our guide and complained. Shortly after sorting out the plumbing situation, we went on a photo session on the beach and then decided to go swimming but quickly changed our minds as it was already 8 AM, and if we didn’t hurry, we’d have to travel through extreme heat, which doesn’t sound great. Now you might wonder where exactly we traveled to. Well, you see, my parents had a 20 year anniversary of their marriage today, which they decided to celebrate by spending ridiculous amounts of money for questionable activities. The first such activity was going to a river resort, where we’d have a nice swim in the waterpark and a nice extremely expensive meal. In order to get to that resort, we had to first get to a bus station located a thousand miles away and ride a very specific bus that only goes once an hour. The journey there was, I’d say, satisfying - we went through the mountains and saw a nice variety of cool views, and even though there was no air conditioning, the ride was tolerable. After arriving there at 10 AM, we had our first meal. There were no doners (shawarma), so I had to order French fries just like my sister. Just when we finished eating, we went to the swimming pool, which had a couple of water slides, which I guess qualifies the whole complex as a water park. We spent quite a bit of time there and then went to the river, which also had several slides. The water in the river was unbearably cold, and I genuinely felt like I’m gonna die when I had a slide off one of the slides. My sister, meanwhile, didn’t give a slightest bit of shit and was swimming there like it’s nothing. That was completely unexpected, and I even lost a bet to her that she wouldn’t even dare to take a dive. Then we had another meal, and this time I ordered some chicken kebab (shashlik), which I used to make a “shawarma” by wrapping it in bread. After that, we went swimming in the river once again, and this time, our dad joined us. He also didn’t give a shit about the extreme temperature difference, so they both ended up swimming more than me. But to be fair, I did swim a bit, and I even took one slide off each slide just to check an item off my list. My dad then left us, and we went to the swimming pool. We spent about half an hour there, had a few conflicts, and then were on our way back at about 2 PM. Overall, we spent about 3000 rubles there. We had to wait for about 45 minutes, and while we were waiting, we almost ordered a taxi. In the bus, it became obvious that I both overfrozen and burned myself. We had to go to the drugstore and buy some aloe vera and flu medications to fix my shit. We arrived back in our room at 3 or 4 PM and waited until 5 PM to finally go swimming in the sea. Unfortunately, I started feeling drugged, but otherwise, it was alright, except maybe the fact that we spent so much time in the water that I could taste the salt on my lips. After swimming, we had a dinner in an extremely expensive restaurant, where we spent another 2000 rubles. I had a pizza and a coke, which cost us 600 rubles. Then we had a supermarket visit, and that’s about it for the day.


Remember when I said that every day doesn’t fly by and feels important? Well, it seems like this one was an exception. Sort of. I still enjoyed it, but it didn’t feel as long. The day began with my parents going to the sea as usual while I was sleeping. I guess they didn’t even bother waking me up, but they might try it tomorrow. After they returned, I took some pictures of our hotel to later display them on my website, and then my mom and I went to a nearby ropeway, where I took more pictures. We then went to a lakantasi (canteen) and bought yet another doner. This time it actually had sauce in it, but unfortunately, it wasn’t as good as previous ones. We later went to a supermarket and bought some things like extremely cheap juice and ingredients for a handmade shawarma (chicken and lavash, both of which cost us only 120 rubles). The shawarma we made was kinda crappy, but I still ate it. Then we went to the local sea port in order to take even more pictures. We had to walk quite some distances, and while we were doing it, we found a KFC, which wasn’t on Google Maps, and an off-brand “Alanya Fried Chicken.” When we got back in our hotel room, we waited an hour and went swimming in the sea. We had several options where to have our lunch afterwards - KFC + a lakantasi nearby, a lakantasi we bumped into on our way back from the sea port that has cheap doners, and a nearby but very small and questionable quality eatery. We ended up choosing none of those options and went to a different nearby lakantasi that was apparently recommended to my mom. We had a pretty cheap dinner there, and I also got possibly the best doner I’ve ever tried, even though it had no sauce. But even though it’s great, I’m not here to find the best doner but to try as many of them as possible, so I won’t eat there anymore. After that, we had another supermarket visit, and almost a pool visit (it got closed).


Not much different from yesterday. The same scheme of sleep -> eat -> walk -> swim -> eat -> sleep repeats all over again. For the breakfast, I had another doner and my mom had some tea. For the walk, we went to a street market. Actually there were two street markets - one with clothes and one with fruits, the latter of which we could barely find. We bought pants for my sister and stuff like oranges and grapes, which turned out to be about the same price as in the supermarket. It was hot as fuck there, and it took me some effort not to pass out. For the lunch, I had a mini-pizza-like Turkish bread thingy and another doner. After I ate, I had to run back to the hotel room in order to not shit myself, just like yesterday. In addition to that, also just like yesterday, I had to run to the hotel after swimming in the sea in order to not piss myself. My parents say it’s okay to piss in the sea because everyone does it, but I just can’t make myself do it. For the dinner, my parents went to some restaurant while my sister and I were sitting in the hotel room eating stuff we’d bought in the supermarket. This decision can sort of be justified because we really spent a shitton of money recently.


Pretty much like yesterday, except I took a shit 4 times. For both breakfast and lunch, I had a doner, both of which had sauce, which I now really dislike. We went to the street market today again (but a different one this time), and spent even more money on fruits. For the dinner, we went to an expensive restaurant, where my mom bought some macaroni with chicken, my sister and I bought fries and nuggets, and my dad ate nothing.


The weather was unusual today. I woke up late, but according to my parents, there was a thunderstorm in the morning. In the day, there were clouds in the sky, though it was still kinda hot, and it was raining later in the evening when we went swimming. There were pretty nice big waves, but we had to stop swimming because, according to my mom, it’s dangerous. My mood wasn’t too great today, and I spent a considerable amount of time inside compared to usual. For the breakfast, we went to KFC, and for the dinner, we went to the doner shop we’ve already been to because it was raining and there wasn’t much time to choose.


Problems arose right after I wrote the previous entry and went to sleep. I got an extreme headache, which didn’t let me sleep and made me literally scream. My mom says it’s because of the low blood pressure, so she gave me a coffee and a painkiller. Both of them didn’t work for shit, but I still ended up falling asleep somehow. The day itself was about as boring as yesterday. The weather got better, but the waves in the sea only got bigger, which was both cool and dangerous to swim with. I had only one proper meal today in that one restaurant where I said I had the best doner ever. I also had only one proper walk, or more like bus ride, to a supermarket and a clothing shop to buy some pants for me and underwear for the rest of the family.


Somehow my parents managed to wake me up soon, so I finally ended up going swimming early, resulting in overall 2 swimming sessions in the day. The waves were still kinda big, which was cool, but they didn’t last for long, so by the time the second session happened, they were pretty much back to normal. I had only one proper meal today in a yet another lokantasi (yes, it’s actually spelled with an “o” and not an “a,” which means I’ve been misspelling it this whole time), which consisted of a microscopical doner and some fries, which I had to manually salt. I wanted to go to, say, Burger King instead, but my mom didn’t let me to, but after I managed to convince her that the prices there are adequate, she now says she’s alright if I go there once tomorrow. I also had only one proper walk today - we went to a department store and bought nothing, went to another department store and only bought a roll of duct tape, and then randomly stumbled upon a supermarket, where we bought some groceries. We also visited our local supermarket a few times, namely to buy some water and something for the dinner. I bought some peas, which turned out pretty good and incredibly cheap, garlic and onion, which unsurprisingly didn’t taste any different from the Siberian counterparts, and sausage + instant noodles, which I left for tomorrow. My sister bought pizza dough for some reason, and I think she even ate some after boiling it.


Holy shit, I forgot to write down an entry again. Fortunately though, not much happened that day, so there isn’t anything special to talk about. It was the last proper day of our vacation, and we’d go back to our country the next day. This time my parents didn’t manage to wake me up early, so I only went swimming to the sea once, but I at least went 2 times to the swimming pool. I didn’t have any walks and spent most of the time sitting in the hotel room. Just as promised, I went to Burger King, and it was alright, I guess? It was pretty expensive, but their chicken burger was okay, especially compared to the cheapest Russian burger with chicken. Also when I was ordering my food, I accidentally referred to my check as a “ticket” and didn’t even realize that, which now haunt me forever.


Today was the actual last day of our vacation aka the day we leave. Compared to our arrival, our return wasn’t as troublesome by far. As we had been told yesterday, the transfer from our hotel was going to be at about 12 PM, so we had to wake up at 10 AM and be ready to leave at 11 PM. Luckily, we managed to wake up on time and, hopefully, didn’t forget anything. The transfer bus arrived 10 minutes early, interrupting my restroom session. It took us about 2 hours to get to the airport. I took several final pictures while we were at it. The passport control and the customs went pretty much fine - all I had to do was to throw my remaining drugs and water bottles in the trash, and the whole thing didn’t even take so long. While we waiting for our gate number to be announced, I had the most expensive (6€) sandwich in my entire life at a Subway. Though to be fair, it was pretty tasty. The boarding, however, didn’t went as smoothly - our flight got delayed from 5 PM to 6 PM. In fact, the airport staff didn’t even realize that at first and drove us to the plane just to drive us back to wait another hour. The flight itself went fine. It wasn’t too boring, and the food was pretty nice - I got my chicken with rice + others donated me their buns and cupcakes. My mom complains that she got too dehydrated because the water in the airport was expensive as fuck and in the plane they gave us only a really small amount of water, but I was alright, I guess. While I do like water, I’m also good at not drinking water, so something like this is a piece of cake for me to handle. When we arrived, everything went smoothly and quickly - we got through the passport control in no time and got our luggage nearly instantly. The transfer from the airport arrived quickly too, and there were no issues with the car while it was parked there. So now I’m finally in the good ol' cold and miserable Siberia. As I’m writing this entry, I haven’t slept in a whole day, and we still technically aren’t home, but I’m pretty sure everything’s gonna be alright. I have a few updates planned for my website, but first I need some sleep.


The day was disappointing. I knew that going back to this shitty country would be, but it still hit me hard. The weather fucking sucks, and I even got my sore throat back to worry about. I spent most of the day sleeping, and when I woke up, my mood got even worse than when I fell asleep. Our apartment is currently in a state of anarchy. We’re preparing to move, but the apartment is not even ready yet, so we can’t quite finish moving. Thus, there’s mess everywhere and stuff missing. I couldn’t even sleep on my own bed because it’s filled with vacuum bags on top of it. My sister and grandma had to leave to my godfather because there was no space for them to sleep on. I wish they took me with them because they must’ve been having fun there.


Pretty much like yesterday. My mood was still shit, the weather was still cloudy, and my throat still hurt. Though, to be fair, I did finally made a few updates for the website. I didn’t upload the pics from the trip yet, but I guess I still have time. The main task for today was to move the vacuum bags from my room to our new house so I can finally sleep on my bed. There were traffic jams, so it took us quite a while to get around the city, and we also bought a shawarma for me afterwards. Nothing else more interesting happened today.


I feel like I’m fucking dying. Not a single thing changed. In fact, not only I was barely able to fall asleep today, I feel even more sick than yesterday. Additionally, guess which part of my body still hurts? Yeah, that’s right - my thumb toe on my right foot. It’s been, like, 3 weeks or something, and it’s still in a bad condition. As you can expect, I didn’t do shit today, including anything related to my website. The only thing I can do is hope that the things get better. Do the things I’m saying even make sense? I feel drugged again, so I’m not sure.


The process of moving into the new apartment continues. This time, it was decided to disassemble all of the cupboards in the house. While we were at it, we also wrapped all of the sensitive electronics in stretch film. Why would we do that? Simple - cockroaches. Now the ones that possibly live inside them will die over time, assuming we don’t use our PCs for, like, a month or something. It’s totally possible that there are no cockroaches inside, but you know, better safe than sorry. By the way, guess what, I feel drugged again. In fact, I started feeling drugged even earlier than yesterday. Because of that, once again, I didn’t do anything website-related or programming-related. How many days will pass until I get back on the track, stop being depressed, and start doing anything? I don’t know, but probably more than there are left until the college starts, which doesn’t sound great.


Nothing interesting. While I do feel a bit better and the weather got better too, it was pretty boring. In fact, I haven’t been outside a single time. My parents continued preparing to move while I was doing comletely nothing. Well, I did help my mom a bit with sorting the boxes and wires from my room, but that’s not enough to count. Regarding my website, I finally shared the photos from Turkey (see the trip journal) and added some linguistic experiments to the cringe zone.


You guessed it - the things only got worse. I didn’t do a single thing today and was lying in the bed being bored instead. Compared to yesterday, I didn’t do anything website related. Though, to be fair, I did go outside twice today to buy some groceries, including some sushi rolls, which I absolutely didn’t deserve. My parents, meanwhile, were kinda busy? My dad was working today, so he had no time for anything house related, while my mom is still, I guess, technically on a vacation, so she was packing up stuff into boxes so it’s easier to move. So right now my only choice is to wait until we actually move or, more realistically, until college starts. While I’d become less bored, the things would only get worse as I’d not only have to deal with boredom but also studying/unusual environment. Thus, I’m not too hopeful about my near future. This year seems to be going to shit compared to the previous one. Considering how still tired I am of all of this bullshit, I might even hit the rock bottom again and get kicked out of college. But hey, I’m probably trying to predict foo far into the future, so maybe it’s actually not as bad. In any case, fuck this day.


The things got a bit better? I didn’t feel as shitty and didn’t get as bored as yesterday. We continued moving our stuff to the new apartment today, and I helped my parents a bit with loading stuff in the car and throwing stuff in the trash. Technically speaking, I’ve been outside more than once today, so I guess it’s kinda a win. You know, maybe the things are actually not that bad. Or maybe they are, considering that I felt like shit for quite a while and now only had a single day of not feeling like shit. In any case, there’s not much I can do in this case. Even antidepressants didn’t work on me, so the best I can hope for is for God to have mercy for me.


Just like I expected, I’m back to feeling like shit. If things continue going this way, it’d be very uncool. I really need something to cheer me up, but I’m afraid there isn’t anything that can do that. In any case, the day was not only sad but boring. I somehow managed to run out of YouTube videos to watch, which are still my primary means of entertainment. I don’t want to go back to Reddit because it makes me only more sad, so I have to figure something out. It’s probably not going to be this easy since now I use the official YouTube app powered by the almighty YouTube Algorithm ™ and not just manually search for videos. If even it can’t entertain me, I don’t know what even can. In terms of IRL stuff, I’ve been outside 3 times today. The first time was at about 6 AM when I was suddenly woken up by my parents and told to help my dad with loading his car with stuff to move to our new apartment. It was outrageous that I was woken up so early, but there was no way to decline. After we loaded the car, I also had to go with him to unload the stuff despite my best efforts not to. While he was driving, he spent the entire time trying to lecture me about how I’m not doing stuff myself and that I’m perfectly capable to learn anything eventully. You know, whatever. It’s not like he’s wrong or something, it’s just impossible to make him understand that I burn out easily. The second time I was outside was when my mom told me to go to the grocery store. It suddenly started raining so heavily that I got wet even with an umbrella, so I had to flee back home. On the third time, the rain ended, and I successfully managed to do it. Regarding my expectations of the future, I’m back to negativity. In only several months, I’ll have my own apartment, but will it make the things even a bit better? I’m already lonely as hell, and without my parents, will it only get worse? I’m bad at finding friends, so I have no clue how I’m going to deal with that. Additionally, I still don’t work anywhere, so my parents will have to cover everything for me, which is kinda cringe. In fact, they’ll have to cover even more than they do now since maintaining 2 apartments costs more than just 1. It’s in our mutual interests for me to find a job, but I can’t even imagine doing it. I’m absolutely unsuited for any kind of work, so there’s absolutely no chance anyone in the right mind will hire me. I waste each day of my life making no progress in learning anything, so it may take years or decades for me to learn any useful skill that’s monetizable. Or hell, it may not even happen at all, and I’ll end up spending my entire life leeching my parents. The most likely direction my life is currently headed is becoming a basement dweller neckbeard, and I really don’t like it. Why don’t I just kill myself and stop this misery? In any case, fuck this life.


Remember when I took an English exam back in May? Guess what, the certificate has finally arrived. It only took, like what, 3 months after the results became available. Well, actually, I lied, it came a week ago, but I was just too lazy to go pick it up. Today I somehow managed not to wake up too late and in the right mood, so I finally went there and took it back home. And that’s about it with the interesting events for today. To be fair, at least my mood wasn’t as shitty, but it wasn’t too great either. In any case, there’s nothing else to talk about. In about 10 minutes, I’m gonna go outside the second time in order to move some more stuff to our new apartment, and that’ll be the last time today I do anything but sit at home watch YouTube.


Terribly boring. Not quite as boring as I predicted this summer to be, but still awful. In fact, it was so boring that I used Reddit again. Other than my usual YouTube rabbit hole diving, no stimulating activities happened today - not even anything to move to the new apartment. The only time I’ve been outside today was to buy a shawarma, and the rest of the day was spend inside staring on the screen. But hey, at least I didn’t feel drugged, right? Wrong! I felt drugged yesterday almost right after writing the diary entry, and I spend this whole day feeling just drugged enough to be constantly scared of it becoming an actual druggedness episode. Man, I hate my existence.


Sigh. Remember what I said yesterday about feeling drugged? Well, here we go, here’s a proper episode, and it’s only been 2 days since the last one. How the fuck am I supposed to survive like this? And it’s without even speaking about studying, which I’ll soon have to do. Man, I need to get off this drug as soon as possible. Unfortunately though, I’m not sure if I can since my doctor will probably think this is not a legitimate reason. What am I supposed to do in this case? God, just let me die in peace.

Today my parents suddenly decided to call the Chemical Guys™, so we had to leave our apartment and stay somewhere else instead. My dad was working the entire day, so I guess it’s not an issue, while my sister, my grandma, and I went to my godfather’s apartment. He himself will reportedly spend the night in our new apartment. My mom later joined us and kicked me the fuck out. Well, maybe not “kicked” and not “the fuck out,” but I had to go to my other grandma. I started feeling drugged on my way there, so I barely survived. Right now I’m just sitting here with barely any Internet. By tomorrow, we’ll most likely be able to go back to our apartment.


I’m back to my godfather’s house. Staying with my grandma wasn’t a viable option, considering she’s bad at feeding me and having Internet access (though, the latter isn’t her fault, but still). Since I went back, a couple of events happened, so it wasn’t as boring as usual. KFC had a 50% discount for Twisters (shawarmas), so I just had to go there with my sister. She was a big pain in the ass along the way, but still, she’s my sister. After returning back, we waited a bit, and my mom and I went for a nice walk. We talked about password managers and whether it’s reasonable to spend money on them and other online services. We also bought some food, including the ingredients for pancakes, which my grandma will hopefully bake tomorrow. It seems like I underestimated how much time we’ll spend here, and we’ll likely stay here for, like, a week, but I’m okay with that. Though it’s not too comfy here, changing the surroundings once in a while is good.


Not much happened but in a good way. I wasn’t too bored and my mood was alright. It seems like changing the surroundings really worked, and it was the thing I needed all this time. Or maybe it’s because the weather is great? I’m not sure, but regardless, I sure as hell enjoy it while I can. The main task cor today was to buy some building materials for our new apartment that we hadn’t bought yet. We didn’t buy quite all of them, but even if we did, they wouldn’t fit in the car, so not a big loss. After loading everything in the car, there were no space left for passengers (aka me and my mom), so we went back home on foot. We had a pretty nice walk, but we were tight on time because my sister had a doctor appointment scheduled, so we had to walk to the bus stop and not the house, from where they went to the doctor while my grandma and I went to my godfather’s house. After the appointment, they decided not to go to us and instead went to our old apartments, leaving us here alone. But don’t worry, tomorrow we’ll join them. Also as I was told, we may start moving to our new apartment for real as soon as this Thursday, which is only 2 days away. I’m happy, I guess? The apartment is still not quite completely ready but seems to be in a somewhat usable condition. In any case, that’s not the main thing I’m worrying about. What I’m really worrying about is whether my mood will stay for long or not. It’s not like I can do anything about it, so the best I can do is hope.


Our plans have changed a bit. Instead of going back to our old apartment, we decided to stay here. At first, we planned to instead go back tomorrow, but now it seems like it’s not the best decision. The reason behind it is pretty simple - there’s nowhere to sleep there. In addition to that, most of the apartment has already been moved, so there’s little reason to go back. Thus, we’ll stay here for at least 2 more days, and most likely, then go to our new apartment.

The day itself was meh. My mood was still alright, but now it was once again incredibly boring. Though I did make a few updates for my website and crossed a few other items off my todo list, I spent most of the day lying in the bed suffering. The weather was still great, but considering how long it’s been this way, it’s probably going to get worse soon. So yeah, the things are probably gonna go downhill from here. Right now I feel like I’m about to start feeling drugged again, which means it’s been, like what, 3 days since I last did. That doesn’t sound great. If things continue going this way in college, that’d be pretty fucked up. Again, I need to get the hell off this drug as soon as possible.


Just like I thought, right after writing yesterday’s entry, I started feeling drugged. However, that didn’t stop me from desperately trying to entertain myself. My friend and I agreed to watch an anime movie both at the same time in order to then write reviews of it. It was very hard to stay sane, but I managed to both watch the whole thing and write the review. I think that’s kinda impressive. Right now I have the same feeling as yesterday, but hopefully, I won’t feel drugged this time. I don’t want to repeat that terrible experience.

Today was about as boring as yesterday. We still are stuck in an apartment that’s not ours with limited resources. I still spent the whole day watching YouTube videos, only going outside a couple of times. This time, however, I wasn’t as “productive” in terms of my todo list, though I really planned to do at least one thing. Maybe I’ll do it at night today, who knows. According to my mom, we’ll be able to escape to our new apartment on Sunday, which is only 3 days away. On one hand, that’s kinda cool, but on the other hand, the Sunday will be August 29th, which is only 3 days away from when college starts. Will I be able to prepare myself in such a short amount of time? Probably not.


The main task for today was to return a very specific plastic bag to my mom. The bag reportedly contained her lab coat, which she urgently needed since she’s a doctor and she was supposed to work the next day. Though it later turned out she wouldn’t actually work the next day, we didn’t know it so had to hurry up. We left the house at about 1 or 2 PM. After we arrived, we decided to stay for a while, which my parents used to their advantage. The apartment was almost empty with only a few things left, so we loaded some of them into the car and went to our new apartment. While we were looking through the stuff to load, I found our bathroom scale, and you won’t believe what I found out next. I now weigh 82 kilograms. What the fuck? If it’s not lying, which it can be, it means I gained 13 kilograms in just a few months. That’s just unbelievable. How did it even happen? I don’t even look that fat, so how? Sigh. I guess I have to now also accept the fact that my BMI is over 28, making me overweight and being dangerously close to being obese. Now I’m fatter than almost all of my friends, and I have to live with it. God, I hope that scale is lying. In any case, when we arrived to our new apartment, it turned out it’s far away from being ready, so when we’re going back there in 2 days, it’s gonna be a mess. Well, nothing unexpected. After staying there for a while, we had to go back using public transportation since my dad was already busy working. We arrived back at about 6 or 7 PM. And just like that, we spent the whole day on one little insignificant plastic bag.


Today’s plan was for my grandma to leave the house early in order to go help my parents with moving to the new apartment and for me to stay here the whole day and do nothing. However, that’s not quite what happened - she returned only after a couple of hours since there was nothing for her to do. And thus, it was yet another regular boring day for the two of us. Though to be fair, at least, I finally took a shower and shaved in a long time. Compared to yesterday, I didn’t do anything off my todo list, but hey, I still did something, so it’s not that bad, right? Other than that, it was as boringly boring as usual, and I was once again hungry as fuck. No wonder I’m getting so fat, considering how much I constantly want to eat. Also in case you’re wondering, I’m starting to feel drugged again. Yes, only 3 days later, and it’s back. Doesn’t sound like a great statistic. In any case, I don’t want to torture myself any longer, so I’ll stop this entry right here.


Today was the day we were supposed to finally move to our new apartment. At about 1 PM, my dad arrived, and we, having already packed up our things, just went with him. He didn’t arrive alone though and had my mom and sister with him. On our way home, we stopped at an Uzbek canteen and had a nice breakfast. After we arrived, it turned out that the apartment didn’t get any more livable in, so my mom started sorting up the mess while my dad was helping my godfather finish some of the things left to do. Meanwhile, I was sent to KFC by my sister to buy a ridiculous number of chicken nuggets for her. I couldn’t just deny because I could also buy some food for me while I was there, so I had to do it, which luckily didn’t took too much time as there’s a KFC very close to us. After having a lunch, my grandma and I concluded that there’s no reason for us to stay there as we’d be an annoyance for them, so we decided to just leave back and return tomorrow when the apartment will be in a bit better condition. Yup, we actually did. My godfather is probably angry at us for that, and it probably wasn’t the smartest decision, but it’s too late. We arrived back at about 6 PM since it was a weekend, which means public transportation sucked. And now I’m here back to the state I’ve been in for the last week.


We’re back to our new apartment. For real this time. My parents have made quite some progress on sorting out the mess. Now my grandma and my sister’s room is completely clean, and my room is kinda too, except there’s no bed and the cupboard needs more sorting. There was actually also no desk, but we went and bought a piece of wood, screwed some legs onto it that we’d already bought, and now there is one. In fact, I really like my new table. It’s not as fucked up as my previous one, and it also has no shelves like my second to previous one. Having no shelves is deliberate - it greatly reduces complexity as now the only place things can be stored at in my room is the cupboard. But in any case, the rest of the apartment is still not quite ready. My parents' room is still extremely messy, the kitchen isn’t finished, and neither is the corridor. But hey, at least it has floor compared to yesterday. So yeah, overall, it’s not that bad. Not as livable as I wanted but livable enough. We’ll sort out more stuff as we go.


The last day of this summer. It was just as unremarkable as the last week. The positive effect from changing the surroundings disappeared, and now it was just another boring day. Other than YouTube, I played Undertale for a bit, and also my mom and I finally went to buy the drugs I need. But hey, at least my mood wasn’t that bad. Yet. With college starting for real in only 2 days, it can change dramatically. Meanwhile, the weather seems not to be playing in my favor - it was raining yesterday, and today was pretty cold and cloudy. According to the forecast, it’ll only get worse tomorrow and will stay like this for several days. So yeah, I’m not too hopeful for my near future. Other people in our house, on the other hand, are doing as usual. My parents were working, my sister was wasting money on anime merch, my grandma was living her retired life as usual, and my godfather was continuing to renovate our apartment. If I understand correctly, he’ll keep doing it everyday until it’s finished. Today he finished installing the floor in the corridor and painted the wallpaper in the kitchen and the corridor. Yes, painted the wallpaper. Don’t ask me how it works. If things continue going like this, the apartment may even become livable soon, which is kinda cool. Heh, at least something gives me hope.