07 - July


The pill had no effect. Or, at least, no effect I’ve never had before. I spent the day doing things for my website like the subscription page, which now also has my Reddit subscriptions, and moving Jerk Forward, with which I’m 100% not affiliated in any way, to a separate website. Currently I’m thinking of publishing some of my unlisted stuff, which I’ll probably do soon.


Oooooooooof. ToberUberStobe: The Movie’s screenplay is here, and NullBrowser is almost here - I spent several hours torturing myself with the git quirks instead of sleeping, and I’m almost done. The only thing left is correct commit dates, but it’s gonna be painful as fuck to do. I wish I just used git instead of plain files back then. By the way, the kernel update that was supposed to fix the GPU hang is already here, but it seems like some workaround is still needed. Also GTK 4 seems to be close to being released, and I’m kinda excited.

One thing, however, that’s not here is my sleep schedule. I slept for 3 hours at night again, which forced me to sleep the whole day. I feel like an absolute ass, and I’m not sure what to do now. Also I feel like I might have fever or something, but I hope not. My therapy, meanwhile, is going well, I guess? One doctor looked into my history, and another doctor forced me to answer almost 600 motherfucking questions. I’ll also have to visit them tomorrow again, so they can actually tell what’s going on with me. As you can guess, because of all of this shit, I didn’t have much time to do anything with my projects after the therapy, but I hope I’ll have some tomorrow or at least on the weekend.


It seems like the pill fucked up my blood pressure, and that’s why I’ve been feeling bad. I hope the effect will disappear when my body adapts to it. They gave an additional pill so I sleep better, and it seems like it works (that’s why I’m writing this on the next day, actually). By the way, no progress on the projects yet.


While my blood pressure is still fucked up, NullBrowser is finally here thanks to this awful script I wrote, and the 2019 Moscow trip photos are also here thanks to a lot of patience. Also some more interesting stuff was added secretly, but you’ll find it yourself.


My blood pressure is slowly getting better, but my overeating problem is only getting worse. While the day was still kinda boring, some interesting things did happen. ethmenu and khansoul now finally both have desktop entries and custom app icons. I also wanted to add AppStream metainfo but was too lazy. I also finally decided to play with Discord and added myself to a couple of servers, including a Neocities one and a Fedora one. Let’s see how well it goes.


The Gunbuster clock. The thing I wasted the whole day on. That’s it.

By the way, my medication dose was increased, and now my blood pressure is no longer getting better. Shit.


It was awful. I don’t think the dose increased even a bit, but I felt like I was about to explode. It was so uncomfortable in absolutely any position doing any type of activity. I decided to watch a movie to distract myself, but, oh God, it made it even worse. Afterwards, the things I was seeing were as if they were getting burned into my eyes. This shit was completely overtaking me, and I couldn’t resist it even by closing my eyes. The only thing I wanted to do was to scream, which I eventually did, as no one else was home at the time. In the end, because of no solution found, I took my sleeping pills. When my parents arrived, they couldn’t help me, but the sleeping pills seem to have handled my situation. I’m not sure if I should ever even touch this preparation again.

By the way, I’ve finally got a haircut.


This was an awesome day. Not only I was given an additional preparation, and now I no longer feel like shit, but I also finally bought a new PC. Yes, I actually did it. It was kinda spontaneous, and I was very unsure if I didn’t fuck up, but in the end I now have a fast as shit computer.


Another spontaneous purchase - a 4k monitor. I’m not even sure if my hardware can handle it, but we’ll see in 2 days. Other than that, it was a pretty boring day, and I entertained myself by writing and editing some shit.


Anothing boring day. I made some minor CSS impovements on the website, but that’s about it.


The 4k monitor is here. Not the best one, of course, but here. As I expected, 4k looks stunning (especially on text), but my hardware is not quite powerful enough, and there’s not much 4k content I can see. Also the display is also quite not the best one, considering the unevenly lit backlight and fucked up colors when looking from the below, but it’s not like I have any choice now. Other than that, it was another boring day. It seems like there was another conflict of someone with GNOME - this time mpv. While I understand their struggles (the lack of support of some protocols is the exact reason I don’t like GNOME Shell while liking their apps and libraries), their initial reaction (just outright blocking the player from launching on GNOME) was completely stupid and ridiculous, and I’m glad that they changed everything back.


The monitor problem was partially solved by bying an EPIC gamer chair and using these parameters:

It still looks like ass but not as much. I guess I’ll have to also lift up my bed somehow or watch movies seated, but we’ll see. Nothing else worth talking about happened today.


Monitor torture continues. I was offered to exchange this one for a different one, but it seems like the ones this cheap are all crap. Well, dammit. The only thing I can do now is to find a perfect height of my chair and distance from my bed. But at least it’s in 4k. Not much other than that happened today, except I discovered a wonderful album, Smokin' Prelude by Keiko Amae, by misclicking. Every song is just so amazing and fits my ears perfectly, like Mint Jams.


This was the worst day imaginable. First, I decided to actually try to return my monitor, but the retail fuckers said that it’s “too used.” Only 2 days have passed, but they don’t give a shit. What a fucking bummer. And if that wasn’t enough, my computer died (or prolly just the GPU), and I’ll have to send it to be repaired tomorrow. Right now I’m writing this entry in an actual paper journal, and I guess I’ll have to retype all of this shit whenever my computer is back.


So it seems like the shit was indeed the GPU’s fault. I returned it to the place I bought it in, and it’s currently being investigated by professionals. Hopefully, I’ll get a new one tomorrow. Other than that, it was a really boring day, and I feel so exhausted.

By the way, I just realized I could’ve typed all of this on my phone instead of writing it on paper, but whatever.

Nevermind, I just retyped everything. I’m gonna be adding further entries on my phone, and the paper journal will just lie in my closet until I’m somewhere with no Internet and electricity.


As I already once mentioned, I’ve been finally prescribed an antidepressant. Cool, I guess. After visiting the therapist, someone decided that it’d be a great idea to drive to a random lake 200 miles away, and I kinda regret agreeing. Not only the lake smells like literal shit, but it’s also crowded, which is a really bad thing, considering when it happened. But at least I tried something different from my daily routine.


🦀 THE 4K MONITOR IS GONE. 🦀 Or, more specifically, gifted to my sister. It’s kinda weird, considering how much money I paid for it, but I’d rather look at fewer pixels that torture my eyes with the worst TN display humanly imaginable. Also, as you can see, I’ve bought (by questionable means) a new (not dead) video card.


The book journal, for which I had to go to my grandma and conduct a search though her library, + attempted some content restructuting. That’s it.


I did do some minor restructuring, but I’m still not sure if I should split the diary and the dream journal by months. The day itself was once again exhaustingly boring, and I’ve recently started eating more than I usually do, and, cosindering it’s probably because of my medication, I’m not sure what to do.


Another boring day, and I’m tried once again, this time because of trying to entertain myself. Not much happened, except I visited my grandma’s birthday. Also it turned out the pack.png project is still alive, which does put a smile on my face.


I fucking did it. I split the diary and the dream journal by month, and I also properly structured the blogpost files. I’m not sure if this was the right decision, but when was I ever sure about anything.


My cat has passed away. This, of course, is bad news, but it’s impressive how much he lived for a cat. Other than that, it was another boring day, which I spent constantly questioning my decision to split the shit by months.


The day passed by too quickly, so I didn’t manage to do anything other than watch the rest of Interstellar and group monthly journals by year.


I finally got outside and even walked a large distance, which is really great, considering how much I fucking eat. That’s about it.


This was going to be another exhaustingly boring day, but I pulled the same trick as yesterday. Before that, I decided to take photos of some of my grandma’s unbacked up photos. It turned out she has even more of them than I could imagine, so I’ll investigate the whole thing even further sometime. Also, while walking back home, the same shit happened as on 2020-07-07 when I was watching Total Recall. Now when I’m thinking about it, it might have been motion sickness. Really weird, considering I wasn’t even moving.


Exhaustingly boring day? Here it is. There are so many great things to do, but I’m not doing any of them because I’m so lazy, so I just suffer. How the fuck does that even work?

We got a new cat. Or maybe just my sister did, so I’m not going to add her to the pet journal yet. God, why does everyone, including animals, hate me?


In order to not start going nuts because of boredom like yesterday, I decided to watch a little bit of anime. I think it worked, and I’m gonna use the same tactic tomorrow. The weird thing that happened several hours afer that is the same effect as the day before yesterday but with no walking involved. I think I should contact my therapist or something.


The same tactic was used, but it didn’t stop me from feeling like shit. Neither it did from the 2020-07-07 effect. But that’s not even it - my mom (according to her, at least) got sick, and my grandma fell down and got her face badly damaged. Man, this year sucks.


Nothing interesting happened, but it wasn’t so boring. Here’s some cool music I’ve recently discovered:


Today I learned 2 interesting things. First, it turned out 35 mm film was more popular than 16 mm film. Or, at least, it was in live action cinematography. Second, it turned out the concept of my website’s navigation is not so orginal - Gopher did this back in 1991. Now I’m really interested in it and its sibling Gemini. Maybe I’ll even make this website available via them some day.


I contacted my therapist and was prescribed a different medication. Let’s hope the 2020-07-07 shit will be gone. Other than that, I decided to finally add the new cat to the pet journal and made a wishlist.